How to Avoid Looking Hungover at Work

Enjoyed a few too many awesome ales, joyful jello shots or cocky cocktails the night before work? Turning up to work looking hungover isn't going to get you up the corporate ladder; in fact, just staying in your boss's good books might be pushing it if he or she realizes your physical presence is marred by a brain still zoning out as it detoxes from partying. Avoid any suspicious stares and head-shaking grilling by hiding that hangover as best you can.

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 Steps

1. 1
   Wash. If you went straight to bed from the pub or club, chances are you smell sweaty, smoky and dank. Wash it all out and wash your hair too. Fresh is best for the start of the day.
   • Have a bucket next to the shower in case you vomit. There is nothing inspiring about showering with vomit at your feet.
   • Remove any club stamps from your wrist. One flash of this in the office and you're done for.
   • Shave.
2. 2
   Dress neatly. This is not the day to grab an un-ironed shirt and wrinkled trousers. Iron everything with care. If you can't, get your housemate or kindly neighbor to do it. You must look ironed to avoid scrutiny.
3. 3
   Brush or comb your hair into place. Nothing says "I've just rolled out of bed and bumbled my way to the office" than tousled, unkempt hair. Again, avoid scrutiny by ensuring that every single hair is neatly in place.
4. 4
   Use eye drops to remove red eyes. Red or weeping eyes are a bit of a giveaway. While you could plead a sudden attack of hay fever, this won't work if it's not spring and it could lead to people offering you allergy pills. Use the eye drops to clear up your eyes and avoid pointed questioning.
   • Swollen eyes can be reduced by placing slices of cucumber on them for a few minutes, or cold, wet teabags.
5. 5
   Wear undereye concealer to hide those eye-bags. White eyeliner on the 'waterline' of the eye makes it look less bloodshot, and a dash of blusher fakes the look of health that you will be sorely missing.
6. 6
   Check your breath. Alcohol on the breath the next morning is stinky. Even if you can't tell whether it stinks or not, assume that it does. Brush your teeth and use a strong and pleasant mouthwash to rinse. Grab some parsley and chew on it; parsley is great for removing mouth odors. Through the day, suck peppermint candies or chew mint gum. Spritz occasionally with a portable mouth freshener.
7. 7
   If you feel like you might vomit, drink an Alka-seltzer, or buy Motilium from a pharmacy, they both settle your stomach.
8. 8
   If you're in pain, with a throbbing head, take some painkillers before arriving at work and have more to take during the day. Having a face screwed up in pain all day will attract expressions of concern, which will quickly fade to disdain when you explain that "it's just a hangover".
9. 9
   Stay hydrated. Once at work, drink plenty of water throughout the day to help keep you awake, reasonably alert and less sallow-looking. Or for sports drinks such as Lucozade or Powerade, or even Diarolyte. These all contain electrolytes which help rehydrate faster than just water. Alcohol dehydrates, so put back in what has been taken out. Plus, lots of fluids gives you plenty of reasons to go to the water cooler and the bathroom, giving you the chance to stretch your tired legs.
   • Initially, sip the water slowly. If you're feeling like you're going to vomit, anything you consume can trigger the need to throw up. As the day wears on, you'll probably be able to drink more and faster.
10. 10
    Hide and avoid. If you feel yourself slipping into a mid-morning or mid-afternoon slump when all you want to do is rest your weary head and drool all over the keyboard, find somewhere you can hide from everyone. Whether it's pulling a large potted plant across your cubicle entrance, angling yourself to look awake with your back to everyone and propping your head in your hands pretending to "concentrate hard" while you're actually snoozing or scampering off to the sick bay for a quick nap, keeping your weary eyes and dribble safe from observation is essential. Appearances are everything!
11. 11
    Say you have a migraine. The symptoms; headache, dizziness, nauseous are the same as a hangover. You just need to make sure you don't smell of alcohol or your game is up.
    • Sit on the toilet seat lid for a good quarter hour and just close your eyes. It's peaceful and the door is locked so nobody can tell you're snoozing in there. Yes, this is gross but it's a small price to pay for hiding the hangover.
    • Stay away from as many people as you can - your coworkers, your boss, your clients and those gossips in accounts. If you're in accounts, stay away from the gossips in human resources. And so on.
    • If you can't get away from a meeting, stare intensely at each speaker. Allow your mind to completely shut down while you "look engaged". Preferably, cancel all meetings for the day and reschedule to tomorrow.
12. 12
    Work slowly and methodically. If you attempt to get through work like a maniac in an attempt to look "with it", you'll soon stuff things up and it'll become clear to your coworkers and boss that you're quite "out of it". Perhaps this is the day to clear out the in-tray or clean the filing cabinet of superfluous papers. Finding something more menial and less intellectual will help you to maintain a steady-but-productive work look throughout the day.
13. 13
    Don't mention that you're hungover to anyone. Nobody needs to know. Sure, you probably look a little seedy but if anyone does ask, you can put it down to any number of things like not sleeping properly because the garbage collectors woke you early, to worrying that you might be getting a cold.
14. 14
    If it all looks too hard by late afternoon, suggest that it's time for drinks for everyone to celebrate their fantastic work or your birthday or some other event. As soon as everyone else has had a few drinks too, you can put down any comments about you looking hungover to their being tipsy.
15. 15
    Close your door and act like you are on a conference call. If anyone knocks on your window, make the universal sign for "Sorry, I'm on a conference call... and its so boring." They will feel sorry for you and leave you alone for a while.
16. 16
    Go for a walk. If you really tied one on, you may have walked to work because you couldn't find your car. If you weren't so lucky, take a 15-20 minute stroll.

Tips

• Stay away from people who aggravate you. When you're feeling tender and tired, you're likely to be more explosive around people who set you off.
• Go home early if you can. The less time you spend at work with a hangover, the better your chances of your hangover not being detected.
• Take a sick day. Then there is nothing to cover up and nobody needs to know, ever.
• Stay home and do everything virtually. Tell your boss you feel "under the weather" but that you'll still get the day's work done from home. That way you can sleep off the hangover and do the work later in the day, free from workplace distractions.
• Try to squeeze in a nap at lunchtime if you must do a full day. The sick room, the car, the unused office under the desk, the local park bench, etc. are all accessible napping spots. The nap will refresh you ever so slightly, helping you manage the rest of the day.
• The best way to avoid looking hungover is to not get hungover in the first place, but of course you know that because you aren't a moron.

Warnings

• Throwing up in the work bathroom is going to be heard - and smelled. Try dashing off to the bathrooms upstairs or downstairs from your office. Then someone else can shoulder the blame.
• If you have Facebook friends who have uploaded photos of last night's drunken you, tagged you and are spreading the news, lie low. Your coworkers might not notice if you're lucky. Just don't chuckle too hard when checking it out from desk or your coworkers will be keen to know what's so funny.