I still pound yam — 88-yr-old ex-civil servant

In this interview with MOTUNRAYO JOEL, 88-year-old Ashiata Onikoyi-Laguda, talks about her travails and journey through life

Where and when were you born?

I’m not sure of where I was born; it was either Lagos or Osogbo but I was born on November 1, 1925

What can you recall about your school days?

I started school at age 13. I didn’t look my age, I was so tiny. And at that time, if your hand did not touch your ear, you would not be allowed to start school. Another reason for my late entry was because my father loved me so much and he didn’t want anything bad to happen to me. I can understand how he felt. I was my mother’s only child. My mother had a child before me but she died at the age of 13 years and it took a while before she had me. It was not until my father died before I started school, though, I was a very brilliant child. When I took the Queen’s College entrance exam, I was meant to start from Form 1, but I was placed in Form 3. I didn’t have to play around like other children; all I was concerned about were my books. I attended All Saints School, Osogbo, Osun State and Ereko Methodist School, Lagos. I later proceeded to Queen’s College for my secondary school education. School was fun aside the challenges I encountered being a sickle cell patient. I still remember one of our major programmes in school which was swimming and as a sickle cell patient; I should not swim. The school wanted to make it a big issue, they didn’t believe me. My doctor had to intervene. He told them that the water would be cold and that I could get an attack while in it. He was the one who saved me.

Were your childhood days also fun?

I grew up with my father who spoilt me to an extent. I had whatever I wanted. It was so bad that sometimes, he had to put sugar in my eba just to compel me to eat. I had so many pet names like Orikegun and Duroorike. But my father didn’t live long. He died at an early age; it was his death that made me start school. He died in 1938.

How did your father die?

He died of tuberculosis at a young age; I don’t know how he contracted the disease.

After your secondary school education, did you go to the university?

No. I sponsored myself to the United Kingdom to study secretarial studies. However, Queen’s College was like a university back then. Mere mentioning that you attended King’s College or Queen’s College, companies would respect you. I made the decision to go to England because I wanted to better my life and emulate the late Prof. Babatunde Fafunwa who was my mentor. He supported me a lot and acted like a father. Whenever I couldn’t go to school, he would come and stay with me at home.

Why Secretarial Studies?

That was what I could afford as a student and blacks were discriminated against then. We could only study specific courses.

How was life in England?

It was good. I spent four years there. I travelled to the UK on the eve of Nigeria’s independence. When I wanted to go to England, people discouraged my mother from releasing me because they thought I wouldn’t be able to cope with the cold weather, but I told my mother that God who had been protecting me in Nigeria would continue to be with me. Besides, because Nigeria was about to get her independence, my mother feared there was going to be trouble. We were very lucky that Nigeria got her independence without any trouble. We had our independence on a silver platter. South Africa suffered before she could attain independence from the colonisers.

How was life in the UK?

It was a bit challenging. As long as you were black, you were treated as a second-class citizen. For example, whenever a black person wanted to rent an apartment, we would have to spell the word ‘Black’ in capital letters. Even after this, when we visited our prospective apartment immediately we knocked on the door and the white person saw us, they would scream ‘black man’ and shut the door against us. It was terrible and humiliating. White kids would also ask us funny questions such as how did we learn to speak English? Did we learn it while on the plane? I’m glad I was able to go there, study and return home.

Why didn’t you settle down in England?

My children were here waiting for me and there was no reason to settle down over there. I’m a black woman and Nigeria is my home. It never crossed my mind to live abroad. And at that time, people travelled to the UK to study and not to settle down.

What job did you do over there?

I was making little money from sorting out letters. It was a tasking job; I had womb dislocation because of the stress.

After that what did you do?

I came back home and I got employment at African Insurance Alliance. I also worked at the Ministry of Defence. I had so many admirers at that time.

How did you meet your first husband?

I met him while I was in secondary school. He was my doctor. I used to visit him regularly for treatment of my sickle cell. After some time, he took interest in me. Because he was already married, we couldn’t marry legally, we just had a traditional wedding. I had three children for him.

How many children do you have?

I have five children in all but one of them died. Three of my children have the same father.

Was your schooling interrupted by the challenges of sickle cell anaemia?

Yes, I had a tough childhood. Whenever I had a crisis, I could be on the bed for two weeks. I could not stand close to a fan while growing up and when it rained, I couldn’t go school. I had to stay away from anything that made me feel cold. If I dared go out when it rained, I might have an attack. That’s why I said my schooling was by the grace of God. I missed out on so many things because of my condition. If the crisis was on, I wouldn’t be able to eat. It was a tough period for me. My mother was always there for me. She never got tired of caring for me. It was during this period I met a doctor who took interest in my health. He used to monitor my health. Those times when I was in pain, it would feel as if I would die, but I thank God I’m alive today, strong and healthy. When I tell people that I’m SS, they don’t believe. I never even thought I would be fat, growing up; I was so skinny and small. I’m alive today not by any magic, but by prayers, I love to pray. I also read the Bible and Quran religiously, I don’t joke with them. I have books on prayer points which I use regularly.

Do you still have crises?

No. They stopped in my 40s. I can’t tell if it’s anything I used, because I used several things. I also think it’s because of childbirth. As usual, during childbirth, a woman loses blood and the body produces fresh blood, I think this was what happened to me.

You said you read the Bible, are you a Christian?

No, I’m a Muslim. I performed Hajj 13 times, but I read the Bible the same way I read the Qu’ran.

How did you meet your doctor husband?

I met him when I was 25. I was still in school. Remember I started school at age 13. It was actually my condition that brought us together. We met through referral; I needed a good doctor and people recommended him. He was always there for me. He was already married when we met, so I couldn’t become his wife legally, we just had a traditional wedding.

What is your favourite food?

I like pounded yam and amala. I still pound yam whenever I feel like eating it.

Did you remarry when you got back from England?

Yes, I remarried, but I can’t remember the exact date, I think it was in 1980s.

Is he alive?

No, he died in 1992 after a brief illness.

What do you miss about him?

I miss so many things about him, we were close friends. I loved him dearly and he loved me too. He had everything I wanted in a man. We know ourselves for years before we finally married.

How did you meet?

We met in school, he kept disturbing me for marriage, but I told him I wasn’t interested. Years later, we met again at a gathering and he was still on the matter. I finally gave in to his proposal. We were married till he died.

Why didn’t you remarry after he died?

I don’t think it ever crossed my mind. No man can take the place of my husband, and I had my hands full with four children to raise. It just was something I never considered.

What is your message to young couples?

Each one of them should discover themselves. It’s important for one to know what one wants before getting married. Women should find ways to develop themselves to a level that they will not suffer. They should engage in things that will enable them put food on their tables. My message to Nigerians is that we should love ourselves. We should stop fighting and killing each other. And to Boko Haram, the sect should stop killing people. There is nothing wrong with western education.

What difference have you noticed between your time and now?

Honesty is rare these days. There was nothing like rigging and exam malpractice in my days. People were honest, including our leaders. In those days, we loved to teach children the right way, but things are different today.

How do you relax?

I take a stroll, I enjoy taking walks.

What are your hobbies?

I love chatting. I talk a lot.

How do you keep fit?

I walk and I also watch what I eat.

You are a sickle cell patient at 88, what is the secret of your good age?

God is the secret. He has kept me alive till date. I wouldn’t say my drugs because I don’t take them religiously. It’s God and He alone.

Do you still have friends?

I have a close friend I usually visit at Osogbo, but I’m free with everyone. I take everyone as my friend. But I don’t have many close friends.

Would you say you are fulfilled?

Most definitely, I’m happy with what my husband and I have achieved. I thank God for all what He has done for me and the plans He has for us. I have wonderful children. I’m truly blessed.