I went for a woman bigger than me — D’Lectura

Comedian, Emmanuel Adigwe, a.k.a, D’Lectura and wife, Deborah, talk about their union

How did you meet?

Emmanuel: We met three years ago. I was sick and went to the pharmacy to buy Vitamin C. Incidentally, the pharmacy was owned by her elder brother and she was the one who sold the medicine to me. We got talking from there and the rest is history.

How long did you date for?

Emmanuel: We dated for two years and have been married for almost two years.

Was it love at first sight?

Deborah: I don’t believe in that, but I liked his manner of approach. There was a way he spoke to me that portrayed him as a man who is cultured as opposed to how some men behave.

What got you attracted to her?

Emmanuel: I used to joke that I would get married to someone who is bigger than me in stature because I don’t want my children to have my small stature. Now, my joke has come to pass. I was also attracted to her beauty and diction. Interestingly, when I asked her how come she spoke so well, she said she was an undergraduate at the Obafemi Awolowo University where she studied English. It was not all about her outer beauty, as time went on, I realised she was beautiful inside as well. It was then I realised she is somebody I can spend the rest of my life with.

You must have dated other women before her…

Emmanuel: When I met her, I was on the search for a wife. Fortunately, my ex-girlfriend, whom I dated for nine years, disappointed me in 2009. I met my wife in 2010 and I realised that it was time for me to get married. The signs were there. For instance, I used to enjoy cooking but all of a sudden, I lost interest in what used to be my hobby. I think it dawned on me that I needed a woman who would do the cooking.

Did you give in to his proposal easily?

Deborah: Yes, I did

Emmanuel: Don’t mind her. I used to crack jokes with her a lot and she began to fall in love with me. I am sure she did not even realise she was falling in love even though we started off as friends. It was a long distance relationship though because she was in school at OAU, Ile-Ife; while I was in Lagos.

Did you know he was a comedian?

Deborah: I was not keen on entertainment and I had little knowledge of entertainment personalities. When he told me he was a comedian, I shrugged my shoulders because it did not really matter to me.

Emmanuel: When we met, I had no intention of revealing my identity. When I did eventually, she did not show any surprise or excitement. Her friends were the ones who were excited. She did not fall in love with me because I am a comedian; she liked me for who I am.

Did you develop cold feet when you realised he is a celebrity?

Deborah: I did not because there was no reason to. Also, from the outset, I related with Emmanuel Adigwe and not D’Lectura and that is how it has been ever since. That way, I was able to understudy him and also got to know the kind of person I was getting involved with. By the time I got to know his celebrity status, I was comfortable in my own skin and also with the relationship. I used to see women around him but I cared less.

Emmanuel: Other women came around but I knew where to draw the line. Our relationship was not just about love because sometimes, love is not enough. We built our relationship on understanding and trust. With those two things, you can boldly declare that your husband or wife will not do certain things.

How did he propose?

Deborah: The day he proposed marriage remains one of the happiest days of my life. We were out when he proposed.

Emmanuel: We were out when I proposed. She was not expecting me to propose when I did. So, she cried when I did. I did not go on my knees; we were actually lying on the bed when I proposed.

How would you describe being married to each other?

Emmanuel: I had heard a lot about marriage before I got married but so far, I have not experienced those things that make a marriage awful. I believe this is due to the wisdom God has given us. We will continue to surmount all obstacles. Besides, I am blessed with a wife who understands the essence of peace in a home. One important thing to have in mind when choosing a life partner is that if you know you do not submit easily, make sure you get married to someone who does so that when there is an argument, that person would give up and admit a wrong or right.

Deborah: I realised the essence of prayer also. My husband and I pray in the mornings and evenings. Even if we had an argument earlier, we must come together to pray .This helps us let go of whatever the problem is because after praying, we are able to sit and discuss issues.

What has changed about you since you got married?

Deborah: There is no place for hearsay in my life any longer. If you listen to what people have to say, it will affect your relationship as a couple. I also had to let go of some friends. Now I have a small circle of friends.

Emmanuel: I am not quick to anger but when I get upset, it is difficult to calm me down. With my wife, that has changed. She knows how to calm me down and I also know how to get her to calm me down especially if I am the wrong party. I simply feign sickness and before you know it, she is all over me. My wife gets angry but she is surprisingly calm when she does.

Is he funny at home?

Deborah: He cracks jokes and makes me laugh. With him, there is never a dull moment. We do have our ups and downs but the former outweighs the latter. He is a wonderful father and husband. The way he handles our son beats my imagination. You would think he was a mother in his former life.

Did your family oppose your marriage?

Emmanuel: There was a very stiff opposition. It was tough and we surmounted it by the grace of God. Even after her parents agreed, her elder brother was still against our union and he did not attend our wedding. We thank God that he later accepted things the way they are and when we had our son, he paid us a surprise visit.

Deborah: He said I was not old enough to get married even though I was about going for my youth service then. He was angry that after all the money spent on training me in school, instead of bringing a certificate, I brought a husband.

How do you spend time together as a couple?

Emmanuel: Because of the nature of our jobs, we spend a lot of our free time together in the house with our son. At other times, we go to any fun spot around.

What are your pet names for each?

Deborah: I call him Dim and it means my husband. I adopted the pet name from one of the literature texts I used in school which was written by Chimamanda Adichie. I started calling him that even before we got married.

Emmanuel: I call her Baby.