I help my wife cook — Elvis Obi

Nollywood actor, Elvis Obi and his wife, Uju, talk about their union

How did you meet your wife?

Elvis: I met her before I started acting. I was into business, travelling to Hong Kong, Indonesia, China and sold ladies’ wear. She just passed by my shop, saw a dress she liked and stopped to ask the price. I tried to sell the dress to her because she was a student and did not have much money. She left and I saw her as someone I could marry. I told God that I desired to marry her and if she would be my wife, He should bring her my way again. After three months, I met her in church, where I was an usher. We talked and I invited her to other church activities. We became close and eventually got married in 2004.

Did she accept your proposal immediately?

Elvis: No, she did not. She was also reluctant to visit me because I was the youth evangelical leader of my church and one of her sisters attended the church. After service, I invited her to visit me while her sister was present. When she came, I told her my intentions. She was 19 years old and she told me she was not ready for marriage. I tried to convince her and after sometime she gave in. Along the line, I got her pregnant because I did not want her to leave. I told her I would marry her when the pregnancy was eight months old. I gave her money for upkeep regularly and two weeks after eight months, I paid her dowry. We got married after that and two weeks later, she put to birth. She was slim and people did not know she was pregnant. We have three children now—a boy and two girls.

Why did you not accept his proposal immediately?

Uju: I was very young, the last girl in my family and my elder sisters were not married. I also needed my mother around me. I went to Onitsha to see my sister when he saw me in church that day. I pretended not seeing him and he insisted on meeting my family. I called my sister who spoke with him and advised him to go and see my mum at Enugu, where we grew up.

What was the initial attraction?

Uju: I always wanted to marry a tall and handsome guy. But when I saw him, I did not like him immediately. But as time went on, I started developing feelings for him.

Did your in-laws oppose the marriage?

Elvis: They did not oppose the marriage. I am now 38 years old and my wife is 29. Marriage is about making yourself responsible and people will see the qualities in you. Marrying their daughter was a blessing to them and everyone embraced it.

Uju: My mum felt I was too young to get married but she told him to ask me. To her, if I was ready, there was no problem.

Why did you marry a 19-year-old?

Elvis: I treat my wife as my girlfriend. I also relate with my children like my friends. They talk to me and tell me anything they want. Families should have freedom of expression. I discuss almost anything with my children. Sometimes, they question why I do the things I do in movies and I explain to them the reasons for those things.

What were the initial challenges of being a married woman?

Uju: He is a good man, but I cried for almost a week after my wedding. Sometimes, he cooks or goes to the market when I am tired. He is understanding but the only problem I have now is that he is no longer around to pamper me like he used to.

How did you cope with marriage and schooling?

Uju: My mother was always there for me. She also helped take care of the children and encouraged me to go to school.

Were there other men asking you out in school?

Uju: Yes, I had guys wooing me in school. I was young and even now, they still ask me out. When I show them my ring, some will still want to go on.

How long have you been married?

Elvis: We have been married for 10 years. The marriage has been wonderful. Sometimes, we have our disagreements. I am always at locations and she would be angry most times. Initially, she used to get angry and lock the hotel door at locations. I would explain to her that I had been doing the job before I married her and needed to put food on our table. God gave me the understanding to know that she loves me so much. Sometimes, whenever I was about to go out, she would cry. But as time went on, she understood the nature of my job. I love her because she prays for me.

Has marriage taken away your freedom?

Elvis: Yes, it has. At a time, some of my friends thought I forgot about them. But I have to be at home with my wife and children when I am not working, or take the children to school. Sometimes, I help in the chores at home or even cook. People think my wife controls me but she does not.

Do you get jealous of his female fans?

Uju: I do not get jealous. I do not like it when they call him or disturb him. Some call to say they want to act, but at the end of the day it would turn out that they want to woo him. Some would make promises to him that he would not regret if he becomes their friend.

What does he do to get you angry?

Uju: When someone calls him on the phone and I ask who it is, he would question my curiosity and tell me that he is a man. Sometimes, he goes out and does not come back early and that gets me angry.

Who apologises first when there is a quarrel?

Elvis: Most times, I apologise to her because I adore her. Women behave childishly sometimes and when those times arise, I pet her. There were times we faced challenges and hardships, but she stood by me and always prayed for the family. That is one of the reasons I adore her.

Uju: It is good for a man to love his wife more than she loves him. If not, the man would take the woman for granted. Sometimes, when I know I am wrong, I apologise.

How do you relax?

Uju: Sometimes, we go to club or a bar to talk and have fun. People watch us whenever we kiss outside. Also, I like to travel with him.

What would be your advice to celebrity spouses?

Uju: They have to be patient if they want to keep their marriages. Also, they have to be prayerful.

Do you run a joint account?

Elvis: We have separate accounts and we also have accounts for the children.

What pet names do you call each other?

Elvis: I call her Love of my life.

Uju: I call him My Power. But when I am not happy with him, I call him Chi or Elvis.