How to Gently Influence Teenagers

Helping teens understand things that matter isn't always easy because they don't always want to listen, especially if you're acting like you know better. Don't give up though! It is possible to be a gentle source of influence.

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 Steps

    1
    Don't nag. Nagging is defined as persistent faultfinding or continuous urging. Nagging annoys people whatever their age, so drop it. When you nag your teen, it may cause your message to lose meaning when they've heard it many times.
    2
    Don't try the "I am smarter than you" routine. It is very likely your teen will want to prove otherwise. Respect teen's intelligence and ability to think things through. Give relevant advice, and speak from experience and genuine concern.
    3
    Talk to the teen with interest and respect. Show the teen that you care about them as a person, not how their behavior reflects on you.
    4
    Listen to the teen's ideas and dreams and use these as a means for influencing behavior. Once you know what the teen cares about and his/her hopes for the future, you can start gently making comments about how to proceed in the direction they're interested in. Use anecdotes, examples from your own experiences, and real stories of other people to help them form their own mental ideas of where certain types of behavior are likely to lead them.
    5
    Be there for the teen. Influence is often greatest when you pull back and stop telling them what to do by showing support and respect for his/her decisions. If you think something is a bad idea, you must convince the teen to share your view by explaining the negative consequences or morals in that such idea.
    6
    Be on your own best behavior. Set a good example for the teen to follow by doing what you believe is best, by living up to your own principles and beliefs.
    7
    Make him/her feel special as if you are the only truthful person for him/her. Make a girl feel that she is the most beautiful girl on earth.

Tips

    Forming a close bond and relating to teenagers is key to having any sort of influence on them. Teenagers, and people in general, are most influenced by those they respect and admire as people.

Warnings

    Be ready to handle a bond with the teen. It should not be a surprise to start genuinely caring for the person.
    If you are disappointed, please try not to show them the full extent. You can let them know, but that can sometimes be connected to whining and nagging in their mind.