How to Convince Your Spouse to Let a Parent Move In

So, the tables have turned. Instead of you living with your parents, Mom or Dad wants to move in with you! Unfortunately, your significant other may not be very pleased with the arrangement.

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 Steps

    1
    Consider your reasons.
    Why do you want your parent to move in? Some reasons may be obvious, like they lost their home. On the other hand, maybe Mom or Dad just wants to be closer to you.
    2
    Understand the consequences. You will not be an effective arguer if you don't understand how the change with effect your life. Having someone move in to your home is a big transition that could drastically change the way you live. Consider the following:
        If you need your parent to move due to their health, it will be you (and more importantly, your spouse) that have to take care of Mom or Dad. This may be a change your spouse is unwilling to deal with.
        Your spouse may feel that your parent will try to dominate your relationship or take over your home.
        Your spouse may be resentful at the loss of privacy and freedom that may come with a parent moving in.
    3
    Organize your thoughts. Don't go into this discussion without any forethought. Make sure you absolutely need your parents to move in. Write down your main arguments and think about what your partner might say in response to that. To help you out, here are some reasons you may want your parent to move in:
        You need to take care of Mom or Dad because of their health.
        They lost their home or job, and need support.
        They are becoming old enough to be unable to take care of themselves.
        They are in an area where they don't have any friends or family, and need to be close to familiar people.
    4
    Work out the details. Before you even begin the discussion, is it actually possible for Mom or Dad to move in? Sit down and do some serious planning, including travel (if they are currently far away), move-in costs, monthly costs, lifestyle changes, sleeping and living arrangements, and the effect it can have on your professional and home life. If you cannot comfortably fit your parent into your life, you will have trouble convincing your spouse they should come to stay. Also consider whether the stay will be long or short term; if it is short term, work out a plan to get your parent back on his or her feet.
    5
    Present your argument. Speak to your partner plainly about what you want to do. Tell them your reasons for having your parent move in. Don't rely on purely emotional arguments; have facts to back you up. Also don't expect the issue to be settled with one talk. The process may take days, weeks, or months.
    6
    Counter-argue and continue the process. Don't force conversations about the issue, but make sure your partner knows it is something you need to work out.
    7
    Make your decision as a couple. If your partner has viable reasons for why the In-Laws shouldn't move in, you need to listen. Although they are your parents, you are in an equal relationship with someone who you care about, and they matter as well.


Tips

    Be respectful of what your spouse says.
    If you want this discussion to be successful, you must be open to new ideas and reasoning.


 Warnings

    Forcing the decision on your spouse could lead to an unpleasant rift in your relationship