How to Sit Through Opera

Oh, great! Your friend, the opera buff, thought it'd be a real treat to drag you along to an upcoming performance. You are dreading the night. While it may be hard to disguise the horror you feel in contemplating a trip to the opera, take heart! You may be able to please your friend and actually enjoy yourself at the same time! It is even better if you are with your significant others!

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Prepare in advance. Taking along a few things to keep you occupied can be a helpful way of coping. Here are some suggestions:

• Take small candies or chewing gum to quietly chew or suck on. Somehow, having something sweet in your mouth helps to cope with a sour experience. Make sure they're unwrapped (and therefore not noisy) before you leave for the theatre.
• Have plenty of tissues or handkerchiefs to catch sneezes and coughs. These can be very loud during an opera, and people will turn and look at you if you don't manage to muffle the noise quickly.
• Stash a small notebook and pen in your bag. Perhaps you can write down some thoughts to help pass the time. If you like sketching, consider drawing audience members or the singers.
• Before the big evening, ask your friend what language the opera is in and bring along a mini dictionary in that language. You can play "spot the word meaning" to while away some time.
• Sneak in an MP3 player. Get really dark earplugs so they're harder to spot. If your friend discovers this though, you'll be in the doghouse.

1. Dress up beautifully or elegantly. At least going to the opera gives you a grand opportunity to look your very best, to the point of going over-the-top! Strut your evening wear in the intervals and appear as graceful and erudite as you can.
2. 

   Try costume spotting.
   Try costume spotting. The costumes at operas are often incredibly opulent. Spend some time appreciating the costumes, particularly the fabrics that were used. See how realistic the costumes appear, and think about whether there are some especially gorgeous ones that inspire you with fashion ideas for your own clothes.
   • You can do the same kind of analysis with the scenery. Think about the work that went into making the sets and what creative ways are being used to move scenery around and make it work effectively. #
     

     You can do the same kind of analysis with the scenery.
     Think about the composer. It can be amusing to try figuring out what the composer was thinking when he or she wrote the opera. The program may offer some hints, and it might even be possible to build an entire picture of the composer's frame of mind at the time, whether they had personal issues that fed the storyline, and what lesson or moral they were trying to pass on to future generations.
3. 4
   

   Decide which of the performers might be good in non-singing roles.
   Decide which of the performers might be good in non-singing roles. Opera requires extremely good acting as well as singing to get the points across, especially when it involves comedy. See if you can spot any of the singers who would transfer well to acting if they ever had to give up singing.
4. 5
   

   Space out.
   Space out. Withdraw into your own mind for some mental gymnastics.. If you like meditating, take this opportunity to meditate in your seat. It's a chance to think about things that you haven't had time to focus on lately: gift lists for friends and family, solutions for that overflowing in-tray at work, and whether or not you should buy that new pair of whatsits you saw in the store window on the way to the theatre. Or, if you'd rather, think about nothing at all, and use this time for complete mental relaxation – you don't have to understand what you're seeing, you don't have anyone talking to you, and you don't have chores before you, so make the most of it! Right, relax and enjoy.
   • Stay relaxed and at ease. You'll appear interested in the performance while actually thinking of other things (or perhaps nothing at all!)
   • Avoid nodding off. That will look bad--worse if you drool--thereby destroying your credibility with your friend.
5. 6
   

   Try to get into the spirit of it.
   Try to get into the spirit of it. Open up the program and read what the opera is about. You might find it intriguing. You could even be curious to see how they set the story to music. At the very least, an understanding of the story will make it easier to follow the opera, and you might end up enjoying the production after all!
   • In case there is no program explaining the opera, you might make a quick online search to find out the background to the opera before you go, or on your smartphone in the foyer before going in.
   • Ask your friend about the story behind the opera. Inquire as to what he or she finds so fascinating about opera and try to see their points as the opera unfolds. You might even be so intrigued that it improves your entire experience.
   • Bear in mind that opera performers train for many years, and those who make it to the stage are the best at their art. Do your best to enter into the spirit of the evening by appreciating the skills on display.
6. 7
   

   Make excuses if the performance is extremely long.
   Make excuses if the performance is extremely long. Take restroom breaks and have a breather; walk around a little; if you must yawn, do it outside in the foyer; check out the artwork there; and do a bit of stretching before going back into the theatre.
7. 8
   

   The happy ending means an end to discussing it!
   Afterwards,find polite ways of avoiding deep conversation about the opera and any hint that you hated it. Some of the answers you might give to being asked how you liked it include:
   • "It was very festive but I found it hard to understand. Italian isn't my forte."
   • "It was interesting in its own way. It could grow on me."
   • "Wow! What a mind twister!"
   • "Brilliant! Say, how hungry are you? I could really dig a crunchy custard at Bertie's right now."
8. 9
   Enjoy it! If you pay attention, you may find you like opera!

Tips

• Show respect. Your friend will be very disappointed if you make a big deal out of not enjoying yourself. Remember that you saw incredible artists who are likely among the best in their field (otherwise they wouldn't be performing on the public stage.)
• During the performance, resist the urge to play "Bejeweled" on your phone or to text your Facebook pals. Not only would it be obvious, but theater etiquette usually requires that you turn off your phone.
• Many finer opera houses now have supertitles. These are scrolling translations across the top of the stage, showing the words being sung so you can follow the story without having to know Italian or French, etc.
• Opera stories have more sex and violence than many cable TV shows. Give it a shot, and leave your preconceptions at home.
• Check out books like Stanley Sadie's The Grove Book of Operas for more information on the background of various productions.

Warnings

• Don't be offended if your friend notices how bored you were. Just smile and say that you appreciate having been asked but that it turns out that opera's just not your thing even though you can see the good reasons why your friend enjoys it. Think about finding mutual ground for the next form of entertainment the two of you share together, or you'll risk your friend turning up his or her nose at your choice of entertainment!
• Be careful about leaving your seat when you get bored; some opera houses will not allow you to re-enter during the performance, so you might have to remain in the foyer until there is an official break. (You may decide that's a risk you're willing to take.)

Things You'll Need

• Distractions such as candy snacks;
• Suitably packed bag;
• Evening wear or top quality clothes.