Do
you want to be a super best friend but don't know how or where to start
that perfect friendship? Have you fallen out with your best mate and
want to prove how nice you can be if they'll forgive you? Whatever the
reason, this article will help you become a great best friend.
Part 1: Respecting Yourself
Be your own best friend first. Learn how to respect yourself. Decide what boundaries are important to you and respect them. Understand what values are important to you, and stick by them. Seek out others who honor those values.
Close relationships with other people — whether it's a romantic relationship or an intimate friendship — teach us a lot about ourselves. Don't be afraid to learn about yourself. If you don't like who you are, it's hard for other people to like you.
Don't judge yourself too harshly. It's easy to hold ourselves to a really high standard sometimes, a standard that is impossible to uphold. If you're a perfectionist, learn to be a little forgiving toward yourself.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Everyone feels vulnerable about some things, right? Don't be afraid to show your best friends the parts of yourself that are vulnerable. They won't care, and if they do, they might not be the right friend for you.
Be yourself. Being yourself around someone is part of what makes you guys best friends. You are who you are, and your best friend will accept that. Being "fake" could lead you to losing your best friend. Be best friends with someone who you know you can be yourself around, because it isn't worth it trying to be someone you're not so you can be closer to someone.
Don't hold things in. If you feel uncomfortable or have hard feelings toward your best friend, talk about it with them. Make things comfortable, and you'll both go through thick and thin together.
Part 2: Building Trusting and Loyalty
Trust each other. You may find it hard in life and think that it is impossible to keep your best friend happy. To be a good best friend really doesn't take much. All you have to do really is make sure you can both trust each other about really important matters.
Realize that your best friend may have other friends. Trust that you're really important to him or her and let your best friend have a social life outside of you. Love between friends is never jealous.
Don't keep secrets. Be open about what's going on in your life and what you hear about other people. If you don't want to talk about something, don't bring it up in the first place. If your best friend insists on hearing and you still don't want to talk about it, say: "You know you're my best friend; if I were going to tell anybody, it would be you. But I'm just not comfortable talking about it with anyone. I promise you'll be the first to know when I'm ready talk, okay?"
Know that you'll probably go through rough patches. Bear in mind though that sometimes you will have to give them some space so that they can have time alone and think things through. Being a best friend means understanding when a little bit of time alone is a good thing.
Be trustworthy. If they tell you a secret, make sure to keep it. Never ever, ever, tell someone a secret your friend wanted you to keep. Don't even leak it out to someone you know you can trust. A secret is a secret.
Keep your word. If you say you're going to do something, do it. Follow through with it. You know what they say: Talk is cheap. Let your best friend know that if you say you're going to do something, you don't ever back away.
Don't gossip about your best friend. Don't say anything that might turn into a rumor. For example, if they had a crush on a cute guy/girl,they'd probably be embarrassed if you told someone. Make sure you know your best friend is okay with it if you do tell other people. Things like this are sometimes hard to do, but if you want a solid friendship you have to be willing to do them.
Be loyal. Stick up for your friend when they need it. Respect those times when they need to stick up for themselves. Trust your friend and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. Through ups, downs, and disagreements, you'll still try to work things out and be their friend, truly demonstrating your loyalty.
Say "no" when you need to while still being their friend. A friend of integrity is of great value. Tell them respectfully when you think they're wrong. The journey of life is about learning from your mistakes, not always needing to be right.
When you two fight, try to work things out so everyone is happy. Don't say mean things, whether it is right in their face or through a text. Apologize, but understand that it may take some time to get over what's happened. Let them cool down and talk to you when they are ready - not when you are ready.
Come through in the clutch. When your friend really needs something done, or a favor, be there for them. Help out. Think of how much they'd appreciate it. You never know when you'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place and might need someone (a good friend, maybe?) to bail you out.
Stick up for your best friend. Sitting and watching your best friend get picked on or teased is definitely not going to earn you a brownie badge!! If your best friend is getting seriously bullied and you're scared you'll get hurt if you get involved, then get help from a teacher or parents. If you can stick up for them without getting harmed yourself, make sure you do so. Imagine how you would feel if you were being picked on and a friend told everyone to shut up and clear off.
If you or your friend consistently has problems with another person, try not to be childish or immature about it. Don't prank them or embarrass them; sadly, that will only make things worse. Tell an adult what's happening, or simply ignore them. People hate being ignored, and eventually lose interest in you.
Part 3: Spending Time Together
Spend time together. Hang out on the weekends or plan activities together every now and then, do some homework together, and chat during break at school. You don't have to live in each others' pockets, but make sure you spend some quality time together with your best friend to make the friendship grow and become stronger.
Know that you'll probably have to sacrifice some of your time and maybe effort to be with your best friend. It should feel like something you want to be doing, even when it's hard.
Invite other people to hang out with you. Being best friends doesn't mean you have to isolate yourselves from other people. Sometimes, it's nice to be alone; you don't need anybody else to have fun together. Other times, your enjoyment is increased by including other people into the fold.
Share laughs. There is nothing like laughing and smiling to bring people together. Besides, when they're really friends, you guys can laugh at the dumbest, smallest, weirdest stuff and it doesn't really matter. Take time out of your day to appreciate the funny things in life.
Learn to listen. Nobody likes a best friend who just talks and talks, but never listens. If you're a chatterbox, try to develop good listening skills. Whenever your best friend says something, listen carefully and say something. Don't just say "yeah" and move on. Don't interrupt or fidget continually while they're talking to you. If they ask for advice, listen carefully and give them the best advice you can. It'll earn you respect and of course, make them come to you more.
Be an active listener. Being an active listener means reading in between the lines. Sometimes it means knowing what the other person feels or is thinking before they do. If you're an active listener, you might know who your friend likes before they do.
Know when not to talk. There's an old saying out there: The dumb person talks; the wise person listens. While that's definitely an overstatement, it has some truth in it. Begin to feel comfortable just being with your bestie, not constantly having to talk to fill the silence.
Part 4: Caring For Each Other
Care for your best friend. If your best friend is upset, ask them what's wrong. They might not tell you straight away, but they should in the end. If they don't tell you, don't get angry at them: Understand that certain things are private, and trust that they'd be just as patient with you if you were in their shoes.
If a boy or girl has upset them, tell them not to worry because you are there for them and you're not going any where. Also tell them that there are plenty more boys or girls out there just waiting to meet the love of their life. Reassure your best friend that they will find someone who loves them for who they are.
Remind yourself that lending a helping hand to your best friend doesn't really cost you anything. It may not be easy to constantly comfort them or find advice to give, but know that your best friend would do the same for you in your time of need.
If your friend is away from home, send them cards or care packages to show that you care. If they're sick, call them and ask how they are doing. Show them you appreciate their presence in your life. Write them notes to show that you care and are thankful for them, and ask about their lives. Share your own stories, but make sure you have time for them.
Get to know their family. Our families are really important to us, even if they can sometimes be annoying, rude and pesky. Getting to know your best friend's family shows them that you appreciate where they come from, and that you're interested in knowing the people who are valuable in their life.
Part 5: Being Realistic with Each Other
Avoid Expectations. If you assume you know what best friends' roles are, you could get disappointed and frustrated. Best friends are the most valuable friends you have, but they can't help or support you in every aspect of your life. Do not expect them to always be there, or expect them to say the thing you want to hear. If you set expectations for your best friends that are too high, it will only leave you disappointed and defeated.
Be your own caretaker. This comes back to being your own best friend and taking care of yourself. If you take care of yourself, you'll never put your friend in a position where s/he has to come in and rescue you. If you never put your friend in this position, you'll never be disappointed.
Sometimes best friends grow apart. It's natural to stop having chemistry with a certain person. If you grow apart, for whatever reason, just be happy for the good times, and know how lucky you were to have that great person be a part of your life.
If neither of you make an effort to get together, or if you get into fights with them for no reason, then maybe you weren't meant to be best friends. It's not anyone's fault. Maybe you two are too much alike. Who knows? You might just need a break from one another for a few weeks.
Always treat your friend with respect, even if you grow apart. Don't be angry with them, it's truly not worth keeping all that anger locked up inside. Be courteous, kind, and respectful if you have a falling apart. You never know when things might change.
Let your friend have other friends, too. If your best friend picks another friend over you, try to be friends with their friend too. Maybe you guys can be a group of friends! Everyone is always looking for new friends. But never, ever leave the old one; your loyalty is what the other person expects and counts on every day.
Tips
Be there for your best friend no matter what and always forgive them.
Seriously never ever talk about them to another friend in a bad way! It will hurt their feelings and they might not want to trust you anymore.
Treat your friend like you would want to be treated. Don't treat them above or below you — treat them like an equal!
Give them a surprise when it's their birthday and maybe have a sleepover if your bestfriend is a girl.Give the best present to your bestfriend if it's their birthday.
Remember, a friend is a gift for you. You should stick up for them when they have problems. You need to ask them what problems they have. You can't just blabber away and say stuff about them because they never told you anything.
Accept them for who they are. Don't try to change them and don't judge them.
Try to resolve problems with friends during rough times. Realize it may take some time.
Never gossip about your friend otherwise, you may not be trusted anymore. Friendship grows when you know that you have someone who trusts you and always understands.
Respect your friend's opinion. Don't put them down.
Respect your best friend and never let him or her down. Be with them always. And care to the fullest.
Part 1: Respecting Yourself
Be your own best friend first. Learn how to respect yourself. Decide what boundaries are important to you and respect them. Understand what values are important to you, and stick by them. Seek out others who honor those values.
Close relationships with other people — whether it's a romantic relationship or an intimate friendship — teach us a lot about ourselves. Don't be afraid to learn about yourself. If you don't like who you are, it's hard for other people to like you.
Don't judge yourself too harshly. It's easy to hold ourselves to a really high standard sometimes, a standard that is impossible to uphold. If you're a perfectionist, learn to be a little forgiving toward yourself.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Everyone feels vulnerable about some things, right? Don't be afraid to show your best friends the parts of yourself that are vulnerable. They won't care, and if they do, they might not be the right friend for you.
Be yourself. Being yourself around someone is part of what makes you guys best friends. You are who you are, and your best friend will accept that. Being "fake" could lead you to losing your best friend. Be best friends with someone who you know you can be yourself around, because it isn't worth it trying to be someone you're not so you can be closer to someone.
Don't hold things in. If you feel uncomfortable or have hard feelings toward your best friend, talk about it with them. Make things comfortable, and you'll both go through thick and thin together.
Part 2: Building Trusting and Loyalty
Trust each other. You may find it hard in life and think that it is impossible to keep your best friend happy. To be a good best friend really doesn't take much. All you have to do really is make sure you can both trust each other about really important matters.
Realize that your best friend may have other friends. Trust that you're really important to him or her and let your best friend have a social life outside of you. Love between friends is never jealous.
Don't keep secrets. Be open about what's going on in your life and what you hear about other people. If you don't want to talk about something, don't bring it up in the first place. If your best friend insists on hearing and you still don't want to talk about it, say: "You know you're my best friend; if I were going to tell anybody, it would be you. But I'm just not comfortable talking about it with anyone. I promise you'll be the first to know when I'm ready talk, okay?"
Know that you'll probably go through rough patches. Bear in mind though that sometimes you will have to give them some space so that they can have time alone and think things through. Being a best friend means understanding when a little bit of time alone is a good thing.
Be trustworthy. If they tell you a secret, make sure to keep it. Never ever, ever, tell someone a secret your friend wanted you to keep. Don't even leak it out to someone you know you can trust. A secret is a secret.
Keep your word. If you say you're going to do something, do it. Follow through with it. You know what they say: Talk is cheap. Let your best friend know that if you say you're going to do something, you don't ever back away.
Don't gossip about your best friend. Don't say anything that might turn into a rumor. For example, if they had a crush on a cute guy/girl,they'd probably be embarrassed if you told someone. Make sure you know your best friend is okay with it if you do tell other people. Things like this are sometimes hard to do, but if you want a solid friendship you have to be willing to do them.
Be loyal. Stick up for your friend when they need it. Respect those times when they need to stick up for themselves. Trust your friend and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. Through ups, downs, and disagreements, you'll still try to work things out and be their friend, truly demonstrating your loyalty.
Say "no" when you need to while still being their friend. A friend of integrity is of great value. Tell them respectfully when you think they're wrong. The journey of life is about learning from your mistakes, not always needing to be right.
When you two fight, try to work things out so everyone is happy. Don't say mean things, whether it is right in their face or through a text. Apologize, but understand that it may take some time to get over what's happened. Let them cool down and talk to you when they are ready - not when you are ready.
Come through in the clutch. When your friend really needs something done, or a favor, be there for them. Help out. Think of how much they'd appreciate it. You never know when you'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place and might need someone (a good friend, maybe?) to bail you out.
Stick up for your best friend. Sitting and watching your best friend get picked on or teased is definitely not going to earn you a brownie badge!! If your best friend is getting seriously bullied and you're scared you'll get hurt if you get involved, then get help from a teacher or parents. If you can stick up for them without getting harmed yourself, make sure you do so. Imagine how you would feel if you were being picked on and a friend told everyone to shut up and clear off.
If you or your friend consistently has problems with another person, try not to be childish or immature about it. Don't prank them or embarrass them; sadly, that will only make things worse. Tell an adult what's happening, or simply ignore them. People hate being ignored, and eventually lose interest in you.
Part 3: Spending Time Together
Spend time together. Hang out on the weekends or plan activities together every now and then, do some homework together, and chat during break at school. You don't have to live in each others' pockets, but make sure you spend some quality time together with your best friend to make the friendship grow and become stronger.
Know that you'll probably have to sacrifice some of your time and maybe effort to be with your best friend. It should feel like something you want to be doing, even when it's hard.
Invite other people to hang out with you. Being best friends doesn't mean you have to isolate yourselves from other people. Sometimes, it's nice to be alone; you don't need anybody else to have fun together. Other times, your enjoyment is increased by including other people into the fold.
Share laughs. There is nothing like laughing and smiling to bring people together. Besides, when they're really friends, you guys can laugh at the dumbest, smallest, weirdest stuff and it doesn't really matter. Take time out of your day to appreciate the funny things in life.
Learn to listen. Nobody likes a best friend who just talks and talks, but never listens. If you're a chatterbox, try to develop good listening skills. Whenever your best friend says something, listen carefully and say something. Don't just say "yeah" and move on. Don't interrupt or fidget continually while they're talking to you. If they ask for advice, listen carefully and give them the best advice you can. It'll earn you respect and of course, make them come to you more.
Be an active listener. Being an active listener means reading in between the lines. Sometimes it means knowing what the other person feels or is thinking before they do. If you're an active listener, you might know who your friend likes before they do.
Know when not to talk. There's an old saying out there: The dumb person talks; the wise person listens. While that's definitely an overstatement, it has some truth in it. Begin to feel comfortable just being with your bestie, not constantly having to talk to fill the silence.
Part 4: Caring For Each Other
Care for your best friend. If your best friend is upset, ask them what's wrong. They might not tell you straight away, but they should in the end. If they don't tell you, don't get angry at them: Understand that certain things are private, and trust that they'd be just as patient with you if you were in their shoes.
If a boy or girl has upset them, tell them not to worry because you are there for them and you're not going any where. Also tell them that there are plenty more boys or girls out there just waiting to meet the love of their life. Reassure your best friend that they will find someone who loves them for who they are.
Remind yourself that lending a helping hand to your best friend doesn't really cost you anything. It may not be easy to constantly comfort them or find advice to give, but know that your best friend would do the same for you in your time of need.
If your friend is away from home, send them cards or care packages to show that you care. If they're sick, call them and ask how they are doing. Show them you appreciate their presence in your life. Write them notes to show that you care and are thankful for them, and ask about their lives. Share your own stories, but make sure you have time for them.
Get to know their family. Our families are really important to us, even if they can sometimes be annoying, rude and pesky. Getting to know your best friend's family shows them that you appreciate where they come from, and that you're interested in knowing the people who are valuable in their life.
Part 5: Being Realistic with Each Other
Avoid Expectations. If you assume you know what best friends' roles are, you could get disappointed and frustrated. Best friends are the most valuable friends you have, but they can't help or support you in every aspect of your life. Do not expect them to always be there, or expect them to say the thing you want to hear. If you set expectations for your best friends that are too high, it will only leave you disappointed and defeated.
Be your own caretaker. This comes back to being your own best friend and taking care of yourself. If you take care of yourself, you'll never put your friend in a position where s/he has to come in and rescue you. If you never put your friend in this position, you'll never be disappointed.
Sometimes best friends grow apart. It's natural to stop having chemistry with a certain person. If you grow apart, for whatever reason, just be happy for the good times, and know how lucky you were to have that great person be a part of your life.
If neither of you make an effort to get together, or if you get into fights with them for no reason, then maybe you weren't meant to be best friends. It's not anyone's fault. Maybe you two are too much alike. Who knows? You might just need a break from one another for a few weeks.
Always treat your friend with respect, even if you grow apart. Don't be angry with them, it's truly not worth keeping all that anger locked up inside. Be courteous, kind, and respectful if you have a falling apart. You never know when things might change.
Let your friend have other friends, too. If your best friend picks another friend over you, try to be friends with their friend too. Maybe you guys can be a group of friends! Everyone is always looking for new friends. But never, ever leave the old one; your loyalty is what the other person expects and counts on every day.
Tips
Be there for your best friend no matter what and always forgive them.
Seriously never ever talk about them to another friend in a bad way! It will hurt their feelings and they might not want to trust you anymore.
Treat your friend like you would want to be treated. Don't treat them above or below you — treat them like an equal!
Give them a surprise when it's their birthday and maybe have a sleepover if your bestfriend is a girl.Give the best present to your bestfriend if it's their birthday.
Remember, a friend is a gift for you. You should stick up for them when they have problems. You need to ask them what problems they have. You can't just blabber away and say stuff about them because they never told you anything.
Accept them for who they are. Don't try to change them and don't judge them.
Try to resolve problems with friends during rough times. Realize it may take some time.
Never gossip about your friend otherwise, you may not be trusted anymore. Friendship grows when you know that you have someone who trusts you and always understands.
Respect your friend's opinion. Don't put them down.
Respect your best friend and never let him or her down. Be with them always. And care to the fullest.
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